Happy Cycling Time Kaguya
by Ciruno Rowe 'Augmented Conduit
Summary: You know that feeling of being pulled away from your most precious beloved games, internet and other stuff you love? Well, Kaguya's methods of dealing with technological withdrawal, is right here... Do not copy. It's her style. Better than it sounds. Surprisingly, as a crossover with Happy Wheels, there is very little blood. Though read at your own risk


**Disclaimer I do not own Touhou Project, as Zun owns it. Or Team Shanghai Alice.**

**Originally I thought about making a small lil crossover with Kaguya Houraisan and a horrid game. Then I said no and just went with this. Happy wheeling bros, is what my brother would say to you all.**

**For now enjoy this little touhou story. Contains content not suitable for ages younger than 14. Don't get your parents to supervise you.**

Happy Joyriding Kaguya

It was quite peaceful today in the Bamboo Forest of the lost. Eientei, despite housing a major doctor had no patients today nor customers wishing to buy anything. If this was any other day this would've made the doctor worry, but the past week had been filled with so much patients and customers. So it was reasonable for everyone living there to have this 'day-off'. And a lot of people were willing to take advantage of that day off to do what they want.

"Ha! Almost there!"

A black haired woman remained still on her seat, continuously pressing buttons on a laptop. She was slouched over her desk playing a game. To others, what might she be playing doesn't seem to difficult, but if one were to be placed on her shoes, they wouldn't last one second under the heavy strain of all the button mashing and difficult settings in the game she was playing. At least that's what the girl thought.

Her fingers moved swiftly and Houraisan Kaguya was proud with her hand-eye coordination. That was what made her known in the internet, being skilled in most button mashers. It had proved that she was almost unbeatable in any gaming event she does. The only time she ever lost was during her first times with new video games, and those were quickly overlapped by streaks of victories. Immortality always had its benefits. In fact, if she didn't know any better, she was the best gamer in Gensokyo (Or is it the Outside World?). No one can beat her. Unless it was Tewi, who's fortune is enough to rival Kaguya's experience.

Even then, Kaguya still beats her in actual skill.

Kaguya began tapping on the keyboard section repeatedly, sweat releasing from her body. Her brown (almost reddish) eyes didn't leave the screen once. Not even when a voice repeatedly called for her. This was a game she cannot afford to lose. The ultimately difficult level that no one can beat was here, and she might be the first one to beat it in the world. It was a proud and tense moment for a gamer.

"Princess!" The door to the room slammed open and a white haired woman entered. "Not this again!"

"Wait Eirin, I'm almost finished this level! I'm about to win! Just need to finish this one last level!"

Yagokoro Eirin let out an annoyed sigh and began to approach. The girl on the computer became more panicked as the silver haired doctor became closer. Yet at the same time she drew closer and closer to victory. Her face seem to shift from a scowl to a grin, repeatedly. Then once close enough, the doctor slammed the laptop close. Not strong enough to damage it, but strong enough to halt the girl. There was a frozen expression of a smile in Kaguya's face as Eirin lifted it. Then her face contorted to horror at the realization of what just happened.

"Eeeeehhhh!? Eirin! I almost got that level beat! That unbeatable level that no one else can win! Atai-" Kaguya leapt out of her seat only to fall down the floor. Her legs weren't working well with her for now. She concluded it was because she sat still for too long, a normal mistake for any NEET. "By the suns, my head is being crushed!"

Oh a migraine. It was something normal too. Keeping yourself too focused on a computer or any set of technology for too long can make your head ache if you suddenly pull away from it. Of course the fact that she also fell down and slammed her head into the floor might have made that happen too.

"Princess, you've been using these useless technologies too much!"

"I thought I can use it for three hours each day!?"

"You've used it sixteen hours straight! Without sleeping! And you even bribed Tewi to keep Reisen away because I sent her to get you!" Upon making eye contact, only now did Kaguya noticed that Eirin's eyes seem to really glow in anger.

"Well…" Kaguya looked away with a nervous smile. "Time flies when you're having fun I think."

Eirin's eyes narrowed and she began picking up the nearby devices. "I'm confiscating these lady Kaguya.. They're not a good influence on you. You have changed ever since you were introduced to these."

Her expression turned to shock. "Wait what!? Eirin I didn't change at all! I was lazy before in the past! The video games have nothing to do with me!"

"Then maybe removing these would help you develop your personality more then. Exercise a bit, maybe even go pranking someone with Tewi."

Kaguya's expression turned to determination when the doctor picked up the largest video game console in the room.

"But Eirin! You can't do that!" She crawled towards the doctor as she carried away the rest of the devices. "I need to get another purple belt in that game! I need to unlock that taunt for Nathan! Get all trophies for Skyrim! And I promised to help three comrades in Mob of the Dead to get the ending against those zombies! Don't you remember that zombie incident in the moon? Think of what I can do! I can save them! I can prevent that horrible future where there is no Gensokyo and the moon is ravaged by zombies!"

"… Princess, you are grounded from any piece of technology for five weeks."

"What!? That's too long!"

"Princess, as I said before, you must do something aside from these redundant and pointless games." Eirin finally got the last piece of technology in the room and placed it in her pocket. "Even I would say that fighting Mokou is a better choice than this. And I fear to say but your intelligence is deteriorating too."

"But Eiriiiiin!" Kaguya grabbed hold of Eirin's leg. "They're not pointless! Everytime I win with a fellow player against a bunch of campers, I bring glory and hope to them! Everytime me and my teammates win a game, there's a bond of friendship in there! A friendship so strong but can be easily ripped apart by what you are doing! Think of all the events I'll miss! Think about me!"

Eirin shook off Kaguya's leg, gave her a fierce look and left her. "That's the eleventh time you used this speech. Dinner will be served later."

"Eiriiiiiin!"

…

**Somewhere in Youkai Mountain…**

"Fine, grounded from technology? No problem."

Kaguya smiled as she placed a helmet over her head. The twitch that followed wasn't noticed by anyone else when discomfort arrived. She didn't like wearing headpieces like these especially since they tend to be annoying to wear but it was better that she wore this. With what she was about to do being incredibly dangerous it was necessary to take in everything she can use to make sure she's safe. It's not that she didn't want to die, because being an immortal takes the risk off of everything, but it was that she still suffers the pain of dying. And Kaguya would prefer a painless death over a painful one.

"Heh, last time Eirin took all the video games, I just made a realistic version of the game," Kaguya covered her eyes with a pair of goggles. "Of course last time my eyes were slammed down the ground."

Anyone, even an immortal, will always favor avoiding death. Or at least pain.

"All set!" Inaba Tewi shouted out from in front. She was eating a carrot, Kaguya reminded herself to keep more around, and the rabbit was readying a slingshot of some sort. It would be enough to give herself a huge speed boost to reach the human village below. It was actually pretty straight forward. Drive through the tengu water fall, head down, and reach the human village. That's all there is to it.

"The bicycle is ready and some items are inside the hammerspace gap you got from Yukari!" Tewi announced with joy. She seemed too eager for this but Kaguya didn't care. This was one event that she's going to enjoy. "Everything is set, and you can ride the bike anytime Kaguya-hime."

Something felt off with Tewi today. That trail of thought lingered for a moment then Kaguya shrugged it off. She was here to have fun, not doubt her allies. Beside, this was her objective all along. She'll prove to Eirin that physical games are deadlier and have more negative effects than video game-

"She's here!" Tewi shouted out panicking.

"That was too fast!" Kaguya shouted back with a frown. "Never mind! I'm going!"

She began pedalling. It hurt. Guess sitting for too long can have negative effects after all. No problem, maybe next time she'll just do it lying down... No that won't work. Of course by the time she realized there was a perfectly good slingshot right there, she was too far away to use it. And too slow to get back to it.

"Ah damn it! So stupid!"

"You're too slow!" A kick to the back. She felt the size and force of the foot's kick, and from that alone Kaguya concluded Tewi did kick her. She probably used the slingshot to boost herself, then kicked her. Not that it matters, she was far too slow for her liking awhile ago anyway. This was okay.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! SO FAST!" Her scream was a mix of joy, horror, alongside exhiliration. She wasn't sure why she was screaming. Maybe because this was her first time moving at such fast speed by herself with minimal control? Well she flew faster than this before when flying. Must be because she can easily trap and end up on a massive bloody face plant that won't be good for her face.

Maybe with Tewi around Eirin would be stalled long enough. That would be lucky. Unless Tewi actually told Eirin where she is and what she was about to do. Then that would be more problematic.

"-ah?" Kaguya felt the wind blow as the bike rode off a ledge. She didn't notice it even pass the trees just before the cliff. There was very few obstacles that halted her path. Still, the feeling of flight came to her. She briefly smiled at the good feeling. And she didn't even have to exert force to fly. She just needed to move forward then let gravity take forward.

And the sun's warmth, which she initially hated after long sessions of gaming, was being quite nice. Warm, breezy, it seemed like a good day... To play video games outside.

"Ahh, so waaarm."

Then the bike landed heavily on the ground and Kaguya felt her left leg get dislocated from the impact of the twenty meter fall. Maybe she should have risked getting caught just to get Eirin's special body suit armor after all. The pain of something being broken was to say the least, uncomfortable. It wasn't that bad once she was used to it, she thought, yet the pain is still there. It was like seeing a cut off finger once you wake up in the morning like a certain Hangover film. Regardless she still continued to pedal. She cycled over another ledge and felt the wind blowing warmly against her.

Again it felt nice.

The bicycle clammed into the ground below and this time Kaguya felt her left arm get dislocated and a missing feeling on one of her legs. Still she continued to pedal. Such simple injuries weren't going to stop her. If something like that could stop her, Mokou would be beating up her butt every time they get in a fight. Then again that's been happening recently when she was playing video games. Now she understands the misfortune of Keima.

Then, as if some sort of sixth sense or feeling, she felt as if a certain person was following her. Kaguya briefly glanced up and she momentarily saw a person she didn't wish to meet. Eirin was above her, flying close to the trees and making sure not to lose the NEET. There was a very noticeable look of worry and frustration on her face. Looks like Tewi didn't last long after all. Or she didn't distract her at all. Either way, problem for Kaguya.

"Princess! Please stop immediately! Anymore of this and you'll die!"

But Kaguya simply…

"I DON'T CARE! I'M AN IMMORTAL ANYWAY!" Kaguya laughed madly as she ducked, narrowly evading a tree branch. She heard something snap from above, and pondered if it was another injury from her body or if Eirin struck a tree. She decided it was the latter. She wasn't worried about the doctor though. Kaguya had seen Eirin survive much worse. In fact the immortal could say that the doctor probably survived as much damage as her. Just not dying.

'Maybe that should be the next challenge,' thought Kaguya as she pedalled faster with her remaining leg, 'Lose Eirin to accomplish the goal'.

Kaguya felt the bike trip on something and her sight was replaced form trees and warm skies, to the rapidly closing in ground. From her momentum there was no way she can get her bicycle back on track. Either she'd end up rolling down the mountain as a damaged and bruised body or she'll slam into a tree first. So there was only one choice for her if she wanted to keep going with her bike

Instead of allowing the bike's front wheels to slam down, she leaned forward and made her helmet slam into the ground. There was the sound of something being broken around her ribs and the pain made Kaguya flinch. How it happened Kaguya didn't know, but what she knew is that the bicycle had managed to flip out and back into a normal position. She gave out a pained laugh as the bike accelerated again. She ignored the slightly tilted vision she had.

The feeling of soaring through the air felt familiar to her and it didn't make her nervous anymore. She briefly looked down and noticed she was really high in the air. From below, the ground has to be quite a distance from before. There would be a very small chance that she survives this with the bike intact. In fact, Kaguya wanted to do something. She leaned forward and prepared to do double front flip. It would hurt if she fails, but if she succeeds than she'll be happy.

Then again a double flip is easy if one were to fall from the same height as her. Its the damage that one would be more worried about. For Kaguya she didn't need to worry about that.

…

"Wouldn't you be going to that battle with Yuuka and Marisa then?"

Down below, what Kaguya failed to notice that there was a river in there. Two beings are currently conversing below. A blue-haired kappa, Kawashiro Nitori, was tinkering with a machine while a tengu, Shameimaru Aya was bathing below. They were oblivious to what was about to happen.

"Sometimes you'd even be there in a blink of an eye," added Nitori as she twisted a dial.

"Sorry to disappoint you but I've been there already. And I'm not making it part of the newspaper," casually remarked Aya. "It's just another Marisa loses to Yuuka event. Nothing really interesting there. What a boring human.*1"

"You can be harsh sometimes Aya-san," Nitori placed down her device and sat down. "But you're completely different around Satori-chan. Besides, she's getting bett-huh?"

The tengu noticed the kappa looking upwards and became curious. "What is it?" Aya looked up and her eyes widened. She tried to get out of the water. Although she's the fastest in flying, that didn't matter if she was half underwater. And naked. Yes, naked.

There was a resounding splash as a large figure slammed into the river, barely missing Aya. The force of the drop was enough to push Aya to the edge of the river into the rocks, disorienting her. Thankfully it didn't land on her. If someone were to drop in on her, no doubt a dead reporter would be on the news. That's if there was another reporter to spread the news about her death.

And a murderer would be out loose.

A murderer that might make another feud between tengu and humans. Or get rid of one of the annoying tenants of Gensokyou. Really, your mileage may vary depending on what kind of person you are.

The figure immediately bobbed out revealing Kaguya riding a bicycle. One of her arms also seemed limp and the water was beginning to become redder in colour. It was not a good sight.

"Kaguya!" Nitori spoke first having recovered. She actually had to speak some words on her language that would be considered very rude. "What in the world are you doing!? Why is your leg-"

"Explain later, first goal complete!" Nitori recognized that speech pattern. Whenever Kaguya suffered from technological withdrawal, she tends to recreate events from her games. Most of them however end up badly. Last time she did this it was with the Scarlet Devil Mansion and she was trying to get Patchouli to summon what Marisa called a 'glitter fairy'. It ended up with the scarlet vampire heading to the outside world to hunt down and kill said glitter fairy.

"PRINCESS!" An enraged voice made Nitori look up. The figure was barely a dot but from the voice she knew who it was. Nitori's face turned to a frown as she realized this was going to have a similar ending like before.

"Damn it!" Nitori looked back to Kaguya just as she pointed at Aya. "You, tengu reporter, send out a gale to push me away!"

"After almost bludgeoning me to death, why would I do that!?" Her voice was clearly angry. 'Who wouldn't be when they were almost killed,' thought Nitori as she activated her optical camo. She wasn't going to be part of this incident at all.

"Because it's going to be a good scoop later this day!" Kaguya stood up her bike and rode on it. "Do it now and you get a front interview!"

The tengu seemed to hesitate for a moment. Then she grabbed her fan and swung it forward. The resulting gale was almost instantaneous. It was strong enough to send Kaguya flying forward across the air, with her screaming in what seem to be joy. That lasted a good long moment before she plunged downwards past the waterfall. Heading down to either the ground below, or the pointed rocks that was on the waterfall.

This would be the end. Anyone who falls from that height while riding a bike would no doubt die. Only flight would save you and even then Kaguya was refusing to do that. At this rate she's really going to die. At least until before-

"Powerup!" Kaguya took out something from her robes with one hand. One would find it incredulous how she managed to fit a rocket like object without dropping it. But then again, this is a realm where girls fly up and shoot fireworks at each others with cards while not caring about their skirts. "TURBO BOOST!"

The bicycle propelled itself forward, taking into the skies. Well not really flying, more like supported by something flying. Kaguya was aware of that, taking notice that it was starting to hurt trying to hold the rocket with one arm(with hand connected to it being broken) and holding the bike up with the other. She even had to angle it downwards to remove some of the force.

"Ahaha!" The bike descended on land soon enough, and by then the rocket was starting to use the last of its fuel. Kaguya wasn't worried. At all. In fact, she can actually sense some of her body regenerating. It's not regenerating as fast as that certain army handling virus. Yet she knew her limbs were growing back. Heck her limp arm was feeling a bit better now. "This is such a great idea!"

A fairy popped up in front of her. The shocked expression on that little fellow would've been cute from Kaguya's standpoint if it weren't for the next event.

Upon hitting it with her bike, it immediately disintegrated to that familiar mist they always turn to upon being destroyed. Kaguya laughed at that and continued to head down the mountain. Her laugh was almost like a mad woman. And with her goal right now being, mow down any fairy that comes in front of her, it was perfectly reasonable to conclude that she was like a madwoman right now.

Games and the internet are scary.

...

"Halt there evildoer!" Kaguya briefly looked back as she continued to cycle. Even with her fast speed, she can see the blur of white blue chasing her. She let out a sigh and began to think how to deal with this. "I command you to stop under the name of the great strongest!"

"Shut up Cirno! I'm playing a game!" Kaguya continued to pedal faster. But no, the fairy still continued to follow her. No wait, she's heading towards the area in front of her. Was she planning to slam into her like that? Oh yes she was. Cirno was now just a dozen meters away from her. What an idiot. She's going to die. "Don't get in my way Cirno!"

"You know nothing about the strongest!" Cirno shouted out as she lifted her hands and twirled around, cold air seemingly surrounding her. Then she faced Kaguya and swung her arms forward. "Perfect Freeze Beam!"

A thin blue beam launched from her hands completely different from the ability she was referencing. The ice beam struck Kaguya, who shielded herself with her limp arm. The limp arm froze the moment it was struck, and that's it. Even when the ice beam struck her arm, it didn't freeze anymore. That, Kaguya noted as she was about to hit a confused Cirno. She would've preferred an icicle fall easy mode anytime.

"Bah!" "Ooof!"

Both of them somehow stuck on the bicycle, and even odder, the bicycle's speed didn't change. Kaguya realized a cold sensation was on her body, then realized what it meant. She opened her eyes just to see Cirno now riding on the bike, specifically on her chest area.

"Hey! Its soft here!"

"Get! Off! Me! You stupid! Fairy!" Kaguya shouted out whacking Cirno with the frozen arm. Cirno seemed too hardheaded for the tactic to work!

"Oww! Stop it!"

"Stop doing that then!"

"I'm not doing anything! Get out of my face!"

"You get off my-"

The feeling of wind and the lack of ground beneath their feet. Kaguya let out another laugh as she soared over trees, and landed on the ground again. It hurt half as much that time. Must be because one of her legs are currently... devoid of feeling any pain. Yes, that's a word that would keep the rating of her stunt to a simple T.

"Houraisan!"

Familiar angry shout. Kaguya's mind quickly concluded who it was and twisted the bike, narrowly avoiding the follow up ofudas. The paper card like projectiles landed on her landing site. Odd, they were usually homing. Unless they were set to explode. They usually follow up and even then cause explo-oh son of the stars! Kaguya lifted her bike just as she was about to land.

Several multiple explosions from the ofudas knocked Kaguya higher instead of knocking her down. Quickly balancing herself, Kaguya's next landing wasn't as painful as before. Still, that was a close call. If she hadn't done that she would've lost this track already.

"Kaguya!" A red white clothed figure came by her side. As usual with any incidents, the shrine maiden Hakurei Reimu had her gohei pointed. Somehow she heard of the event just before it finished. She had to praise Reimu for her dedication to her job. Or did she happen to be close by when the incident happened?

"I came to the village to buy some supplies! And suddenly I find this?" Yup, it was chance. Ah such misfortunes. When Reimu raised a few more ofudas, Kaguya tensed. "Well no matter what! This incident would be stopped by me now!"

Kaguya pulled out a couple of yen bills.

Reimu tensed,.

Kaguya threw them away, letting them get caught by the breeze.

Reimu's eyes became of a cat's.

Kaguya pedalled faster with one leg as Reimu began chasing the money. It was quite infamous that the shrine maiden is poor. And she adored money a lot. A LOT.

When the lunarian princess saw Reimu flying away, she let out a sigh. At least things were going her way. "Damn it! That was too close! You could've helped too you know!"

Somehow Cirno had still remained on that same position from before. Her eyes were closed too yet her mouth was moving. Was she sleeping on her!?

"And get off my ch-"

Kaguya's words slowed down as she saw the human village several dozen meters away. Her goal, the village filled with humans, was right there. She could reach it if she focus. Maybe if she just ignore the fairy she'll be able to succeed and-

"KAGUYA!"

The princess flinched when she heard that loud and familiar shout. And there's the final boss. Standing between her goal, a white haired woman stood with flames surrounding her. The ground around her was scorched but her clothes aren't even singed. She heard Fujiwara no Mokou's charms were effective against her own flames, and she thought about getting those charms in the future.

Though she wasn't that surprised to see her rival stopping her, she was still wary of how fast the information regarding her game spread. Regardless, not even Mokou would stop her from reaching this goal. She is going to prove to Eirin that physical games are also deadly, and video games are better than real life. It was a goal of a NEET! Or an idiot.

"Get out of my way Mokou!" Kaguya shouted out with a grin, not even caring about the ice fairy riding on her. "I need to finish this!"

"You're sounding like an idiot for thinking I'd do that! Then again, you were always one!" Mokou shouted back, her hands encased in flames. Why was she raising them to the sky."Now that you're doing something stupid, I can beat you up!"

Kaguya tensed as a giant fireball manifested above Mokou. This was problematic. At this state she'll get roasted with her bike before she can reach her goal. All that work for nothing! She even sacrificed the money Eirin gave her to go train at Kasen's dojo. Even the fairy wouldn't survive this heat!

Wait... Fairy... Kaguya's mind immediately went overdrive. Cirno... Ice fairy...

Then with newfound determination, she shouted out. "Nothing would stop me from finishing this track! Not you! Not Eirin! Not Reimu! Not even the lunarian army!"

"THEN DIE!"

The fireball was thrown at her. It was hot alright. She can feel the heat even from a couple of meters away from it. Too large to dodge either by steering away. No matter, she was still confident with her plan. Kaguya grinned as it drew closer.

"THINK FAST!" Kaguya plucked off the ice fairy on her ride, and threw it at the fireball. "FROG!"

Cirno's eyes instantly open. She recovered in the air just as she was behind the fireball. And with that recovery she called out one spell.

"Perfect Freeze!"

A brilliant flash of white. And cold air. There was an explosion of heat and cold right where Cirno was. Smoke and mist covered everything within a thirty meter radius. Noone can see a thing. Not even Kaguya. She knew where she was going though. This was not enough to stop her.

Kaguya grinned as she pedalled past the blast zone. Then past the figure of who she assumed to be a stunned Mokou. She can actually feel the wind carrying her. She grinned further as she passed the gates of the human village.

"YES!" She shouted out with joy. She was almost crying at her success, which can be considered overreacting. Yet defeating Eirin, Reimu, and Mokou like this brought joy to her that much.

This was akin to the happiness of a girl that just received her favorite toy in christmas. The exact same reaction.

Only to discover that Santa Clause isn't real.

That expression of horror and shock was what replaced her joy when Kaguya saw what she was heading for.

She was heading straight towards a wall. It was an unfinished wall, with bamboo sticking out everywhere. This wouldn't been a problem if she wasn't so fast. With her current speed she was going to get impaled in those numerous bamboo spikes. If she's lucky she'll get hit in the head or chest.

"Oh yeah I can just press the brakes."

The brakes weren't working, when that thought came to mind. Her expression worsened.

"I know, I'll use my other foot!"

She pressed her foot to the ground, intent on stopping it. It was reasonable, even a simple step to the ground would cause her bike to tumble simply due to its state. A small injury from a trip would be fine as long as she doesn't die painfully. She pressed her leg to the-

...

She actually felt it vanish. Kaguya didn't even look back for her leg, she only continued to the go further. Her expression was already at its worst, then suddenly it vanished.

Kaguya had already finished her mission. She reached her goal. She finished her mission. Her objective. She did what would shock all of Gensokyo, of evading intelligent Eirin, powerful Reimu, and the chaotic Mokou. She already felt like a hero who saved the world and didn't care anymore of he died. So she just…

"I REGRET NOTHING!"

Splat...

**…**

**Night…**

"Thank you, I promise I won't let her do something like this ever again."

"You better."

"Where's my scoop!"

The sound of an opening door. Then a closing door. And someone sitting beside her.

"…"

"..."

"..."

"…"

"That wasn't your smartest move princess…" Eirin waited for an answer. A grunt, a stomp, a movement, but nothing. "Princess I only worry about your safety. I am your guardian after all."

This time there was a response. It sounded like a grunt and a hiss. It didn't help that Kaguya was covered entirely by bandages and that it was only those that were holding her. Her entire face save for her eyes were covered by the bandages.

It was by pure luck that the piece of bamboo on the ground flattened the bicycle. Instead of heading to the impalement ending, she was knocked over the wall and into a tree. It wasn't a good end, but it was a better result from her driving. Being shredded by a bunch of bamboos wouldn't be a good death at all. Maybe it'll be ironic too.

The only injury Kaguya sustained was broken bones, and a few more internal injuries. She lived through it somehow so she was the receiving end of strange looks and insults from Reimu and Mokou. Only Aya and Eirin there supported her. It was the latter's job to protect her after all, and the former was just there for the interview. Kaguya lost her ability to speak, and briefly was unable to think properly until a few minutes after the slam into a tree.

Eirin managed to patch her up and speed her regeneration, but somehow complications occurred. Kaguya's vocal chords are still regenerating alongside most of her body. She couldn't speak properly at all. Yet somehow, Eirin still understood what Kaguya was saying.

"Even if you're immortal it doesn't mean you can throw your life away."

There was the sound of something being ruffled and Eirin looked at the princess. She had her right arm pointed at her and anger on her eyes. There were more grunts and a few growls.

"That is not a good excuse," Eirin only received an irritated groan from her. There were more sounds of struggling against the bandages but nothing else. "Besides, you have different more ways to live your life. You can study about science, train your abilities, practice real combat."

"…ing too…"

"Princess, I can assure you that was NOT the best way to train physically." There was ripping sound of a bandage.

"Well it works better than playing video games!" This time Kaguya was speaking more clearly now. Her voice was irritated and firm, almost angry. But it was raspy, still in need of medical attention. "You said I should do anything that is not connected to the Outside World's technology. And here I am now, doing what you tell me. And now you don't want me to do it? What do you want from me Eirin?"

"… Princess… I don't exactly wish for you to continue either style of entertainment,"

"Then what do you want me to do? I simply followed your advice Eirin!" Kaguya growled. Then recoiled when Eirin looked at her seriously. "For real! That's what I did!"

"... Princess. Have you ever thought of doing more physically focused activities related to your games?"

"That's what I did!"

"Do you want to play Just Dance 4 with someone?"

"I don't want to play that game with anyone! I look stupid!"

"Play Just Dance 4."

"I don't want-"

"Play. Just Dance 4."

"... I don't-"

"PLAY. Just Dance 4."

"... I'll do it."

"I'll invite Mokou..."

".. You know I won't do it with her and just fight her right?"

"I'm allowing you to play video games for a week without interrupting you if you play it with her."

"2 weeks."

"9 days."

"... Fine.."

**Now listen to the chase scene with Woodkid Run boy run and imagined a better version of this fic alongside with longer chase. GG.**

**Either way, this little story was more focus on humor. Really, not meant to be taken seriously. Only a Cirno would. I might make more fics of these, probably not aimed at humor though. Either way, have a NEET Kaguya. Thank you for viewing this fic. I learned recently that review whoring isn't good.**

**Hopefully you enjoyed this little story.**

***1 A flower for your heart, a doujin where Yuuka teaches Marisa the power of believing**

**Oh yeah, here's the true ending...**

...

"GASP!" Pants came from Kaguya as she woke up. Looking around, she only found herself in that small spaceship from before. She let out a sigh of relief. Maybe sleeping for the rest of the trip wasn't an option. "At least it isn't real...

On the other hand, this alarmed the other person currently driving the vehicle.

"Everything okay there princess?" Eirin asked as they continued downward.

"Yeah..." Kaguya replied. The melancholy was almost visible. "Just having that dream again..."

"The one where you're an addict to technology? Truly a weird dream," chuckled Eirin. "Well, not like it'll ever happen to you right?"

"... yes it won't.."

"Oh look, we're almost at Gensokyo.. Finally we're gone from the moon."


End file.
